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Pregnancy, labor, and delivery are all extremely amazing accomplishments.
The problem is the current expectations verses the reality and the issues that causes with new parents. Studies have shown rising numbers of postpartum stress and its simply because the support is not available and/or inaccessible for some. This post aims to provide partners with some things they can do for their postpartum partner. Support your partner immediately post delivery by respecting your partners wishes on visitors. Please realize having a baby especially when its the first time is insane. You can prepare all you want and/or go to nursing school and still be completely traumatized by things you go through while laboring and delivering.
Having a supportive partner that knows the birthing parent needs just as much support as the newborn baby is key to improving the postpartum period. Make sure your partner is happy with their pain control, has the option to ask their medical questions, has all the necessities for providing the newborn with food (no matter how you choose to feed your baby), also get that partner some snackies ... they help everything.
Depending on how your partner delivered realize a C-Section is a major abdominal surgery and it should be treated that way. Likewise, a vaginal delivery can cause just as much damage and be difficult to recover from. Some great products to help you partner recover include Dermoplast, peri bottle, woman's disposable underwear, overnight pads, fitted supporting nursing tank, acetaminophen (tylenol), and ibuprofen (advil/motrin). Educating yourself on post delivery recovery and how to support your partner after a major medical event can prepare you to be the best support person during recovery.
When returning home you will both be changing schedules and this wonderful new human will be up at all the wrong times.
This is normal, not sleeping the first years is completely normal. The thing that is not normal is only one parent being responsible for that waking baby. Sharing responsibilities and setting clear expectations right from the beginning can help reduce postpartum stress. Even if your birthing partner is attempting to breastfeed, there are plenty of things that can be done to share the load.
Breastfeeding today often includes pumping which is a lot of parts to clean and the milk needs proper storage. Support your partner by making sure your babies feeding needs are met. If a pump is needed you can fill out the application on any Durable Medical Equipment site and they will send it off to your partners insurance and doctor for approval. Every birthing parent has a right to a free pump through insurance. Amazon is also a great resource for more convenient supportive products. Your insurance health saving account can be used, if you have one, for these purchases as well. Reducing your partners stress by completing tasks so they can focus on heeling is an absolute must for reduction of postpartum stress. If your birthing partner is preparing to go back to work ask kind questions about their fears, simply validating fears makes a birthing parent feel secure.
Remember there are lots of hormones, discomfort, and sleep deprivation in the postpartum period.
Finally, there are so many resources. Not everyone thinks about the available resources because our healthcare system doesn’t promote them. If you and your partner are having trouble and just want some outside help a postpartum doula is a great place for personalized care. They are for the birthing parent and the baby. If that’s not a financial option don’t worry the internet is free and utilizing sites that provide evidence based practice are best. Most children's hospital sites have free reliable information on sleep, feeding, and a plethora of other things. On the other hand look up supportive techniques for post delivery recovery so your prepared to care for your partner. Knowledge is power, we strive to support healthy families!
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